Friday, January 28, 2005

In General

Do you ever feel like you just want to scream at the top of your lungs so you can let everyone in a mile radius know how extremely annoyed you are with everyone and their better then you attitudes, and how they are gods fucking gift to everything that is anything?! The people who ask and ask and ask for favors but the second you ask for a return favor they look at you like they cant belive that you even had enough nerve to mention such a favor in there presence! The ones who are so eager to blame and take everything out on you, or the one's that are just so self involved in what is only going to beneift themselves and not even care about all the hard work and self sacrafice that other has done for them and yet they can't do one little favor for you? Or the ones who piss and fucking moan every time one little thing does not go there way? They act like you should jump at the first note that comes out of their mouth and oh boy!....when it does not go the way they demanded all hell just blow up from underneath the rug and its complete and total chaos. They slam doors, and yell and scream at you, and whine until they get their way or whenever they feel better and are over it. I am so beyond annoyed with dealing with people who you go out on a limb for and will help out with as much as possible and yet you need or ask for one little thing they act like you are nothing and should fuck off. I am so DONE! I am so sick of dealing with everyones rudeness and demands. I am so OVER it. I am not having a good day. ****** This isn't pinpointed at anyone in particular it is just what I have built up and I just needed to release it before I blew up. Thanks.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

We Dance to All the Wrong Songs

I have been offically bored for the past week at work. Surprised I haven't written anything sooner? Yeah, Ive been anti-computers. So I am probaly the last person in the world who has heard of this guy....Tucker Max? He has a webpage and it is the greatest thing I have every read. I develop a rare case of A.D.D when I am browsing on the internet. 5 Minutes max, and could you belive this guy lurked me into his stories from what he says are all true for 1 hour! I could not belive I stared and laughed at this one guys stories for 1 hour! Ok, that is a really LONG time. Granted, it didnt even have pictures! Well, thats a lie....except for the pictures he posted of his ex-girlies that all his stories relate to. Damn, and let me tell you, he has meet some serious ones in need of promt medical and psychological attention. Ok, enough about him. Back to me....

I have a friend we have offically declared our mascot "The Dirty Bird." This will be a easy one to figure out. He hooks up with just about anything that has a beer in there hand. He is the dirtest bird I have EVER meet. And he is my best friend and I love hime, but damn.....he is worse then a girl to, he will stop talking to a girl because of resons like...."She makes a funny face when were doing it..." or my Favorite...."She smells....BAD." I had to stop him form telling her that is the reson he doesn't want to talk to her anymore. Me, being a girl, and yes I know...having a few relationships just not work out I can probally say that just not returniong phone calls and leaving it as that is way better then dealing with the humiliation of having a guy your into tell you that he cant stand being with you because you smell. We have delt with the let down of just not having a guy call you back, I dont care who you are it happens to all of us. But, could you imagine the humiliation of that? And if I know my friend, he would probally be an ass about it. So I figured I would save the poor girls heartbreak and let another deal with her stinky ass.




Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Poker Face

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this afternoon?"

With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?" In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Smile Now and Later

I got these off of www.ebaumsworld.com and they made me laugh at loud. Check them out. Warning: They are quite dirty! But, everyone deserves a chuckle. Too Funny


Quick Joke:

man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to screw your brains out, and suck your boobs dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Quick Joke 2:

A gay man named Roger goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Roger, I am not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS." Roger is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"
The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of All Bran cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." Roger asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your asshole is for."

Quick Joke 3:

A Mom is driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a play date. “Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?”
“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother warns. “It is not polite.”
“Ok,” the little girl says. “How much do you weigh?”
“Now really,” the mother says, “these are personal questions, and really none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”
“That is enough questions, honestly!” The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
“My Mom wouldn’t tell me anything,” the little girl says to her friend.
“Well,” said the friend, “all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card—it has everything on it.” Later that night, the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are. You are 32.”
The mother is surprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”
“I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.” The mother is past surprise and shocked now.
“How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”
“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.”
“Oh really?” the mother asks. “And why’s that?”
“Because you got an F in sex.”






Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Pork Chops and Apple Sauce

It finally stopped raining!!!! I thought it would never end. I really enjoy it when it rains but it was starting to creep me out there for a minute. As sad and I shouldn't even compare it to the horrible tsumani that happen in the east, but now it just kind of opens your eyes a bit and think. I can see cleary now the rain has gone! If I am not mistaken from my boss who knows how exceptionally guliable I am and told me it is suppose to rain again, but Im just gonna have to wait for Dallas Rains for that report!

Ha, I just thought of how on Staurday night we all went out for my friends b-day and came back to my house for all the drunkin ones to sleep and my roomates girlfriends brother (neighbors cousins dog......) fell asleep on our couch that adleast 1 of my could of passed out on but I decided hey! Everyone in my room! Were having a slumber party! Boys are boring to slumber party with. 2 of them passed out instintly as me and my friend (whos b-day it was) layed in my bed conteplating what mean tricks we could do to them and before I knew it I heard the most god awful snooring coming out of my friend Rays mouth. It was the worst thing I have ever heard in my life! I couldn't sleep all night. Im surprise the fucking dogs next door weren't barking. I didnt ever play a prank yet and he was already getting me back with his snooring! And you know what is replaying in my head right now? "It's raining its pouring Ray is fucking loud and snooring!" Like I said, I couldn't sleep and I am just too kind to make him sleep in the bathroom, but next time..... I aint gonna be so nice. Ray Ray is gonna sleep on the Couch Couch!


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http://www.californiahammonds.com

His name is Greg and his wife passed away from Breast Cancer, and what he is doing is just amazing. For every comment made up tp 500 comments he will be donating a doolar. ($1.00 per comment=$500.00 500 comments). We just lame De-Lurking day so people would use it to get the random comments, but this isnt a lame way to get comments from people, what he is doing here is something I would only wish I had someone do in honor of me. So please take a sec, comment, and check it out.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Sticks, Stones and Lazors

I am having way to much fun with my new cool laser pen I got from my boss today. He should have never given it to me. Bad enough the people here think I'm odd enough now I am scaring the shit out of them with the lasor. Oh, my job. These people walk around with sticks up there asses permantaly and her comes little ol' me and I dont think they have the slightest clue how to deal with it. I am all about making the best of it and well since this job sucks I feel the need to make the best of it. Too bad not everyone here feels the same way. It would be way more enjoyable that is for sure. By working here I have master the art of blogging (well I shouldn't say master as much as discovered), started reading The Da Vinci Code (which is a faboulos book FYI), seen about every video circa 1992-2005 on LAUNCH brought to you by Yahoo, and so on. Dont get me wrong I bust my ass here, but I feel the need to take a step back, sit down and enjoy life. Beacuse before you know it your going to be one of those people with a stick up your ass and the purpose of someones blog entry.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Dead Men Tell No Lies

I have decided not to do the traditional 1 new years revolution, but to do a bunch because I know I need it:

1.) Save Money and Actually open a savings account and DONT TOUCH IT!
2.) Focus on going back to school
3.) Learn to listen better
4.) Learn to wear my emotions better
5.) Be more involved in whats going on in my families life
6.) Learn to be nicer to my mom and dad (they mean well)
7.) I am going to stop worrying so much about what is going to happen tomorrow and focus on today. I have finally learned how to not rush things, if it is ment to be it will happen.
8.) Continue to not cut my hair (my one and only one I stuck with last year! (thankyou thankyou)
9.) Im going to start writing and drawing more. I miss that.
10.) Im also going to get back into photography beacuse its sad when you forget how much yopu love something.

I can go one, beacause I know I have a bunch more. But, its nice to keep some things personal.

I had a great New Years to start all that off. I was suppose to go down, or up to Vegas with some buddies of mine, but the dolla bill kept me from going. So, as all my friends went there or the few that were stuck working all night I decided to go to a New Years party at my other of the two best friends house because last minute she decided to have a party. Well, I was not going to go at first because I didnt want to go by myself but let me tell ya, I had a blast! Everyone there was so nice which is hard to come by, espically when there's those girls who act like they dont fart? Yeah you know what Im talking about! To my surprise there was no one there like that! It almost felt not right but come on like Im gonna complain about that. But, I did have to let go of a blast from the past that came in outta left fucking field and had a very hard time finding his way back home. He decided the fact that I wrote him a letter (he is stationed in Hawaii) ment that I deperatly needed to get back with him? Ok, I missed something here. But, he was not willing to deal with the fact that just because he showed up (with out my knowledge) and demanded me to see him all the time. I swear I had 7 missed calls from him in a 1/2 hour period. I remembered why I dumped him in the first place. Stalker, scary staus. But, alas he has not called me in a few days so hopefully he can except the fact that it has been 5 years since I last saw him, and I have changed and moved on with my life and dont want to drop my whole life exsistence beacuse I sent him a letter telling him hello and I hope everything is going good and if you need a pen pal if you get bored you can write me. I sent that letter as a peace offering for all the bad that happened between us, I wanted him to know that was the past and I hope we can at the very MOST be friends. Here let me build you a time line here of our well, I guess time:

1.) Meet at 15
2.) Friends
3.) Saw eachother for a year at 16-17
4.) He hated me for calling it off
5.) Sent letter when I found out he was in the military 22 offering a friendly hello!
6.) 3 Months later I get him on my doorstep then DRAMA all over again
7.) That is the end of that.

*Note to self---Move forward, not backward.