Thursday, December 23, 2004

Old Flame still Burning?

So my ex is down from Hawaii where he is stationed in the Marines, and I haven't seen him in 3 years and I shit you not it is like he never left. We were up til 4:30 am this morning just shooting the shit and talking about everything and everything and it was great. But he said something Im not to sure how I should take it. I hate it when I cant tell if people are joking or serious, usually I am but this threw me off guard. We are talking about going togethre to Vegas for New Years since he was planning on going and all my friends are going so we figured we would go together, and somehow married became apart of our converstation and bam......he said we should get married and move to Hawaii with him, and on top of that they get paid more if you are married I think he said $1,200 more a month (I think). Hmm.......I think my heart dropped at that point and I said married shouldn't be a scam for money, and this is the part that made me stopped, look at him and wonder, "Are you serious?" He replied with a simple well if you love eachother it wouldn't be a scam. Oh my got the L word? WHAT?!!! There goes Holly running out the door but for some strange reason I couldn't stop staring at him wondering if he was serious or not. I didn't know what I should say or do. I still don't know what to say. I don't know if I love him. If you ask Amelia she swears I do or else I would of never tracked down his mom to find his address actualy write him a letter, mail it, and for me to act on such a rare impolse is weird. We went out back in the days and I knew he loved me then, but that was such an odd stage in my life I had no idea what I wanted or what I was capable of loosing. 5 years down the road, multiple noboys coming in and out of my life, heartaches, changes he is still fresh in my mind and he's still one of the most awsome people I have ever meet. Am I too young though? I have already had my heart ripped out and stepped on by another, and am I ready to give this another try?

2 Comments:

At 4:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 11:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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